Valentine’s Day

Last Sunday was Valentine’s Day and we decided to travel to the big city and go out for lunch. We had a nice drive there talking and listening to music. We  had a romantic lunch at a nice restaurant…

We stopped on our way home at a grocery store in a village that we rarely shop. I noticed a man with a small child walking around the store. He looked like he could not find something, but they caught my attention.  I stood in line with one woman a head of me at the check outline. The dark-haired olive-skinned man, who I had seen earlier, walked up with his young daughter and said, ” bathroom key”? The cashier said loudly with a rude voice.” Wait, I am busy”! The cashier and the female customer ahead of me were obviously friends. They were chatting and catching up. They were just rudely ignoring the man and the child.  The little girl was so short the cashier maybe couldn’t see her holding her father’s hand. I know that she just glanced in his direction before she dismissed him. I figured the child was just old enough to have started being potty trained. The man asked politely again for the bathroom key. I doubt his Swedish language skills allowed him to communicate much more than that. The woman snapped WAIT I AM BUSY! I was getting angry at her. I said to them politely that he has a young toddler with him that can not wait on you to go to the bathroom. The female customer that the cashier was waiting on looked at the child then the father for the first time. They were standing right next to her. She then asked the cashier where was  the key? The cashier pointed at the register beside her, which was behind her friend. The female customer leaned over the counter and gave the key to the man.

The cashier got very red and flustered after that. She incorrectly rang up her friend’s groceries. She had an even harder time fixing her mistake, because she was so flustered. God forgive me, but I thought at least she had enough good sense to be embarrassed of her atrocious behavior.

Valentin’s day is supposed to be a day of celebrating  love, but where was simple courtesy and kindness?  I guess that it was too much to reach over a counterfor a bathroom key so that  a little immigrant child could use the bathroom before she soiled herself. All they saw was an olive-skinned dark-haired man. An immigrant who wasn’t worth their attention nor courtesy.

I did not raise my voice or swear nor show anger, but my voice was heard. I have written an email to the company headquarters to complain about it.



Posted on February 21, 2015, in Everyday Life. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Good for you, Honey! How awful for the man and his daughter.

    • ICA grocery store wrote me back the same day. That was on a Sunday, which I assumed by that they would be closed. I do feel they took this seriously. They are taking action at the store. I have been a shopper at ICA for years and I have never seen such behavior before in any other store in Sweden. I asked them to instruct their personal on their policies on discrimination and see that actions would be taken if their employees do this again. That there should be a noll tolerance for this behavior.

      The irony to me was that the cashier thought that I would just silently stand by and say nothing. It takes 5 minutes of my time to write an email and complain to the companies headquarters. It reminds me of the quote, “All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for men of good conscience to remain silent.”

  2. That was unreal behavior, so glad that your commentary and complaint paid off…Do they not have hearts??

    It reminds me of an incident several years ago when my family and I attended a music fest in Tennessee… It was late morning and a terrible thunder storm moved in. High winds, torrents of rain, hail and the sirens were just BLARING!…

    All stores were full and still hundreds of people in the street with no protection

    We attempted to get into the Hard Rock Cafe but they told us “NO! We don’t open until 1 PM!”….

    I explained that they should at least let the elderly, disabled and small children in…. they said NO….

    That HUGE building with a conference center and it stood EMPTY while people were pounded with huge hail….I wrote an email to corporate but never got a reply….

    • Racisim is Sweden feels like it is growing expontionally because of Political parties like Swedish democrats which platform is to exclude everyone they feel is not worthy. Thugs have beaten homeless, beggars, muslims, jews..Then the sick, unemployed, poor….were targeted by agencies for being a drain on the society.People were excluded from society by being refused health insurance, social bidrag, unemployment…. The violence is escalating shootings, bombs… It is my opinion that Moderate party (Blocken) has helped perpetrate this behavior. They made policy decision immigration, social services,Unemployment office and Försäkringskassan, which went on witch hunts on all it’s clients.
      Their investigations found less than a handful of fraud cases for all those agencies combined. They blew it up to sound like it was rampid, but it was not. They punished everyone.

      I am happy to say that party is no longer in power. I read this weekend that a woman appealed our insurance system decision to deny her disability status. She won 500,000 kr in lost wages. The social office and försäkringskassan… claimed they needed taxes, socialbenefit reimburstments.. The woman was left with 10 000 kr and a 40 000 kr bill for taxes that they claimed they had already deducted. That is remnants of the last governments policies… It is a message you might win a case against us in court but you get nothing in the long run. I am very curious to see how the new government address this. I hope the woman files charges against these agencies for descrimination, fraud and embezzelment.
      I am sorry to hear what you went through. That is far worse because you and those people were in eminient danger and turned away. I guess that I am lucky that this corporation answered me so quickly.

  3. I have read through the comments on this post and am so pleased to see that your action has received support. I thought your quote-“All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for men of good conscience to remain silent,” was superb.
    It frightens me how very much kindness and compassion for others has disappeared from our society. I was brought up on the bible stories and the tale of the Good Samaritan has stayed with me all my life. I always step in, as you did if I see injustice or prejudice. But I have to confess, that sometimes I wonder if I could one day put myself at risk by doing so.
    I was cheering for what you did Honey. Thank you for standing up for what was right.

    • Hi Karen,

      Thank you for your kind words and support.I too sometimes feel that hate and prejudice prevails in the world. Then I saw on the news recently that Norweign muslims stood gaurd to protect a Jewish synagogue that was under threat by Nazi’s. I cheered them because that shows me that is hope for this world.

      I always loved the story of the Good Samaritan as a child as well. It had a great impact on me as well. It does not surprise me to hear that intercede when you see injustice or prejudice.That is just one more thing that we have in common.

      • What a lovely reply from you Honey! It is a good feeling to share things in common. And like you I look for those similarities in others too, I don’t go looking for the differences. Because underneath, we really are all the same and no one should feel that they are better than anyone else, especially because of the colour of their skin or race. Its simple really, or it should be…

      • You are so right Karen!

  4. It was so important for you to speak up, Honey! (And to do so gently.) It is a good sign that the cashier was embarrassed – she should be from my perspective… And I appreciate your insights about Valentine’s Day 🙂

  5. Hey Honey how are you doing? Was your outing to the big city good? You guys have a great time?

    • Hi Randy,
      I am hanging in there. I am slowly finding out what medicines that I am allergic to and still trying to find the meds that I can tolerate. I have good days and bad days…The doctors as well as hubby and myself had thought that we would be farther along by now. My health has been so precarious that they have had to take it slowly. I am hoping by summer time that things will be going much better for me.

      We had a nice Valentines day lunch and we went window shopping. It was a good day. Hubby commented that it was nice to be there to enjoy ourselves rather than be there for Emergency visits, hospital visits and stays. I hope that this will be a turning point for us.

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